Sermon: Fourth Sunday of Lent - Forgive

Forgive
Fourth Sunday of Lent
Psalm 32: 1-11; Luke 15: 1-3, 11-32, by Rev. Carson Overstreet
Van Wyck Presbyterian Church
March 6, 2016

Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
While I kept silence, my body wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
Selah
Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not hide my iniquity;
I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord’,
and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Selah
Therefore let all who are faithful
offer prayer to you;
at a time of distress, the rush of mighty waters
shall not reach them.
You are a hiding-place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with glad cries of deliverance.
Selah
I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle,
else it will not stay near you.
Many are the torments of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart. – Psalm 32: 1-11


Now all the tax-collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, ‘This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.’

So he told them this parable:

Then Jesus said, ‘There was a man who had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.” So he divided his property between them. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living.

When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, “How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.’ ”

So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the father said to his slaves, “Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!” And they began to celebrate.

‘Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. He replied, “Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.” Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. But he answered his father, “Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!”

Then the father said to him, “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.” ’ - Luke 15: 1-3, 11-32


This weekend I was talking with a teenage friend. And the subject of forgiveness came up. She said, “I am really good at holding grudges. I can hold a grudge for a long time.” I said, “Oh really?” She said in jest, “Well, I just love to hate other people! It’s way more fun!”

Forgiveness is hard. We all struggle with it. We strive to make amends in a sibling rivalry, a misunderstanding with a coworker, a betrayal of trust with someone close to us. We search for forgiveness in the larger context of community. We search for ways to forgive our very selves.

We are not alone in thinking forgiveness is hard. Our ability to understand and practice forgiveness has challenged humanity since the beginning of the biblical narrative. Since Adam and Eve crossed God’s boundary in the Garden, the biggest obstacles to knowing forgiveness are shame and resentment. And yet God alone leads us on a pathway towards forgiveness – to receive God’s steadfast love which is new each morning and also to extend God’s mercy to one another. The pathway towards forgiveness leads us in God’s desire for restoring what has been broken.

In our text today, Jesus’ parable of the Father’s Forgiveness focuses on God’s forgiveness. It depicts a tender scene of the father forgiving his younger son who wasted his inheritance with bad decisions In doing so, the son brought shame upon himself and his family. It also depicts a tender scene of the father forgiving his older son who resents second chances.

Jesus’ Parable of the Forgiving Father made no sense to the Pharisees and the scribes. They were in earshot of hearing Jesus telling this scandalous story. You see the religious authorities would have immediately resonated with the older son in the parable. The father was foolish to first prematurely give his inheritance to the younger son. The father was just as foolish to take the younger son back without consequence. You and I know the old adage – fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But Jesus was making a point that God’s ways are not our ways. We all have something to learn about the way in which God forgives.

The beginning point of forgiveness is to reframe our perception of it. Forgiveness has long been misunderstood as some power you or I have to either give or withhold from someone who has wronged us. But that is not the reality of forgiveness. Forgiveness is God’s work. It is not something we are capable of doing on our own. Just read Psalm 32 again and the psalmist will tell you in a New York minute that as he held onto his dilemma in silence, the bondage of sin nearly ate him alive. We do not know if this sin stemmed from a grudge of resentment against another or if his sin brought shame and an inability to forgive himself.

Forgiveness is rooted in God’s unconditional love for us just as we see in the father of Luke’s parable. And true forgiveness is costly. It costs us to change our emotional stance from resentment or shame to that of a posture of humility. For the one who has been wronged it requires laying down our sense of pride much like releasing the offender of a debt. For the one who has committed the wrong it requires us to confess what we have done and left undone.

The father in the parable could have chosen to remain high-handed to teach his younger son the consequences of his actions. The father could have allowed the son’s shame to threaten his worth as the head of the household. But that is not how God responds to us. That is not how Jesus lived among us.

The costly grace of Jesus Christ is revealed in that God so loved this broken world with deep, deep compassion. It is the costly grace of the cross and empty tomb that proclaims we are all in need of God’s forgiveness and it is freely given to all God’s children. We are all sinners of God’s own redeeming and therefore we are called to live our lives in response to God’s amazing grace. A life well lived is to allow our hearts and minds to be shaped by God’s grace and to practice forgiveness. We have to practice forgiveness because of who God is.

So how does Jesus teach us to forgive?

Confession allows us to say that we have missed the mark. We look down into our reality so that we might look up to God’s help to make things right. As we take a look into our situations we also need to acknowledge and confess our different perceptions and realities.

The two sons are a text book example for us. The younger son held his guilt and shame. The older son held his resentment and blame. It just goes to show no one person holds the entire truth. We must communicate through our conflicts to learn what motivates our choices. We must communicate with one another to reveal our hurts, griefs, and misunderstandings.

The most effective way to speak is using what pastors and counselors call “I” language. “I have hurt you and myself more than I can bear,” the younger son confesses to his father (Luke 15:21). “I have worked beside you all these years and I have not felt your love and appreciation,” the older son confesses to his father (Luke 15:29). Commitment to speak in sentences like these creates spaces to find a shared understanding of the truth of the offense. And shared understandings make a way towards forgiveness.

Our commitment to confess and communicate creates an opportunity to slowly restore trust. Trust is one of the most fragile gifts another person allows us to hold. The words, “I’m sorry” can mend many frictions between friends. But when trust is broken it is hard to repair. While some relationships – whether friendships, marital, or professional – are not reconcilable, we can always place our hope in the ability to trust God’s faithfulness.

Luke’s parable shows that the father, who we understand to be God, is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Both sons brought the father great hardship and yet the father continues to show nothing but unconditional love to them both. When our trust is broken and if both parties are willing to pursue forgiveness then God’s faithfulness will help us to at least extend grace to one another. That grace, which is given and received, slowly begins to rebuild bridges.

Practicing forgiveness also means that we must unlearn habits that block pathways to healing. We need to unlearn shame and resentment because they are obstacles to experiencing forgiveness. When we listen to inner voices that imprison us with guilt or consume us with thoughts of revenge then our unwillingness to forgive will eat us alive. These inner voices destroy opportunities to find acceptance, peace, and healing.

Unlearning destructive patterns requires us to become more self-aware. It is remembering that God’s story of grace is more powerful than the story of our mistakes. The truth of grace is that we were created good and in God’s image. We have all fallen short of God’s glory, therefore our Redeemer lives to shape us as God’s forgiven people. Our unworthiness will never overshadow God’s unconditional love.

Let’s not forget that we cannot practice forgiveness without prayer. It reframes our understanding of forgiveness: it is God’s will and greatest desire to work through our hurts, failings, and betrayals into order to restore and heal us. To pray in search of forgiveness is to be drawn near to God’s grace and to be forever changed by it, one day at a time. The psalmist in today’s text says we are to pray in our times of distress and God will instruct us and teach us the way we should go (Psalm 32: 6-7).

Forgiveness is both a gift and a responsibility.

It is a gift of God’s unconditional love as a loving parent in Jesus’ parable.

Forgiveness is a responsibility because we are instructed to forgive others as we have already been forgiven (Matthew 6:12; Ephesians 4:32). C.S. Lewis once said “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has already forgiven the inexcusable in you.” What challenging words.

Even Jesus knew it would not be easy because it is an ongoing practice to learn. Jesus told Peter to forgive not seven times but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:22). We need to forgive and be forgiven over and over and over. And yet when we deny opportunities to receive and extend God’s mercy and grace then it compromises the integrity of the gospel.

Experiencing forgiveness is a life-long journey. It takes humility. It takes time. It takes practice. As you search for ways to either forgive another or to forgive yourself I encourage you to claim the keys.

Reframe forgiveness. It’s not our power but how God calls you and me to live as disciples.

Confess. Name where you are in this sticky situation and wait for God to show the next right step.

Communicate. Use “I” language to reveal hurts and motivations.

Trust. Remember how fragile it is and that God’s love helps to build bridges of grace.

Unlearn destructive patterns of shame or resentment. Become more self-aware.

Pray. God’s Spirit must be present to change the conditions of our hearts.

As we enter into this fourth week of Lent, let us turn towards God and recognize our need to forgive as we have already been forgiven.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Sources:

The New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary: Volume VIII, Luke and John (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2015), pp. 247-253.
L. Gregory Jones, “Embodying Forgiveness” (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1985).